My favorite quotes from ‘The Big Lebowski’
(in no particular order)
1) The Dude: Let me explain something to you. Um, I am not Mr. Lebowski. You’re Mr. Lebowski. I’m the Dude. So that’s what you call me. You know, that or uh, His Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you’re not into the whole brevity thing.
2) The Dude: Hey, careful, man, there’s a beverage here!
3) The Dude: This is a very complicated case, Maude. You know, a lotta ins, lotta outs, lotta what-have-you’s. And, uh, lotta strands to keep in my head, man. Lotta strands in old Duder’s head. Luckily I’m adhering to a pretty strict, uh, drug regimen to keep my mind limber.
4) Malibu Police Chief: Mr. Treehorn draws a lot of water in this town. You don’t draw shit, Lebowski. Now we got a nice, quiet little beach community here, and I aim to keep it nice and quiet. So let me make something plain. I don’t like you sucking around, bothering our citizens, Lebowski. I don’t like your jerk-off name. I don’t like your jerk-off face. I don’t like your jerk-off behavior, and I don’t like you, jerk-off. Do I make myself clear?
The Dude: [after a pause] I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening.
5) The Big Lebowski: Are you employed sir?
The Dude: Employed?
The Big Lebowski: You don’t go out looking for a job dressed like that? On a weekday?
The Dude: Is this a… what day is this?
6) The Dude: The Dude abides.
7) The Dude: What I’m blathering about – new shit has come to light, man. She owes money all over town, including to known pornographers, and that’s cool… that’s cool, and of course they’re going to say that they didn’t get the money, because… she wants more, man! She’s got to feed the monkey.
8) The Dude: Oh, the usual. I bowl. Drive around. The occasional acid flashback.
9) Mr. Lebowski: I cannot solve your problems, sir,only you can.
The Dude: Oh, fuck it.
Mr. Lebowski: Yes, that’s your answer. That’s your answer to everything. Tattoo it on your forehead. Your revolution is over, Mr. Lebowski! Your revolution is over, Mr. Lebowski! Condolences! The bums lost! My advice to you is to do what your parents did! Get a job, sir! The bums will always lose! Do you hear me, Lebowski?! The bums will always lose
10) Maude: My art has been commended as being strongly vaginal, which bothers some men. The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. Vagina.
11) The Dude: We dropped off the damn money.
Mr. Lebowski: We?!
The Dude: The royal we. You know, the editorial.
12) Walter: Nihilists. Fuck me. I mean, say what you want about the tenets of national Socialism, Dude. At least it’s an ethos. And also, let’s not forget let’s not forget, Dude that keeping wildlife, um, an amphibious rodent for, um, you know, domestic… within the city…that ain’t legal either.
The Dude: What are you, a fucking park ranger now?
Walter: No, I’m just trying…
The Dude: Who gives a shit about the fucking marmot?
Walter: We are sympathizing here, Dude.
The Dude: Fuck sympathy. I don’t need your fucking sympathy, man. I need my fucking Johnson.
Donnie: What do you need that for, Dude?
13) The Dude: You know, Walter, you’re right.There is an unspoken message here. It’s fuck you!
14) The Dude: What is that, yoga?
Maude: It increases the chances of conception.
The Dude spits his drink out.
15) The Dude to Walter: You fucking asshole! Everything’s a fucking travesty with you, man.
16) The Stranger: How have things been going?
The Dude: Oh, you know, strikes and gutters, ups and downs.
17) The Stranger: ‘Course I ain’t never been to London, and I ain’t never seen France. And I ain’t never seen no queen in her damned undies, as the feller says. But I’ll tell you what – after seeing Los Angeles, and this here story I’m about to unfold, well, I guess I seen somethin’ every bit as stupefyin’ as you’d seen in any of them other places. And in English, too. So I can die with a smile on my face, without feelin’ like the good Lord gypped me.